The realest people have the realization of an inherent emptiness. Feeling as if you're the only one surrounded by people who only know small talk and seem as if they're "placed." And then some are under the impression that you can just get over a depression. It swallows you up. Especially if you're in a life where everyone has preconceived notions of how you should be and act whether from friends or family. I've overcame it and talked people passed suicidal thoughts recently. Glad to hear you're making the most of life now. Peace to you brother✌🏼