Look out for the reality enforcers!
Trust me, you know a few. Hey, you might even be one! Let me explain.
From a human perspective, there is no such thing as a fixed, universal reality. From a cold, scientific point of view, such a thing could exist, but only in an environment where nothing is subjective. And we live in a deeply subjective plane of reality. Not everyone is aware of that, though.
Broadly speaking, we share a great deal of reality, but the way we perceive and experience everything – everything – is unique to each of us. Most of the time, it really doesn’t matter too much. Hate cabbage? Don’t eat it. Hate soap operas? Don’t watch them. We make little distinctions and decisions like this all the time, and the impact on other people is minimal.
However, when we interact with others, our realities spill into their reality and vice versa.
And this is when the problems can begin, because some people think that their realities are more important than yours. In fact, so convinced are they that their take on what is going on is actually what is going on, that it hasn’t even occurred to them that this might not be the case.
They will say things like:
“I’m just telling it as it is”
“The reality is…”
“That’s it. End of story.”
And very often, these people will not like it at all if they are challenged. It’s an ego thing, and the ego of a reality enforcer is extremely fractious.
Taking on a reality enforcer can be more trouble than it is worth. They are typically narcissistic, and can be exhausting, because they will struggle to understand another's perspective. Whether or not you decide to challenge such a person is very much down to the type of person you are, or the environment in which you encounter them. However, being aware of them is half the battle!
One you have identified a reality enforcer, you can see what they are doing, and you can work around them. The trick is not to let them force their reality on to you!
You are in control of that.
Watch out though. These people are everywhere.
SO TRUE!!!!!! These people need to stand on a piece of lego! lol
Great piece @matbaker - Keep 'em coming!
Thanks @jaynie. Very appreciated.
I dunno how you find the time!
My pleasure :)
Well, it is all I do these days LOL yay!!!
Good for you! I think that there are a lot of us who would like to say the same! Patience is the key...and a bit of self belief.
And, of course, the kindness of strangers helps, too!
This post is sponsored by @appreciator in collaboration with #steemitbloggers. Keep up the good work
Oh lordy, I just get immediately exhausted when trying to deal with that type of person. I think I've mostly just cleansed them from my life at this point because of that. They don't want to hear anything other than that they are right about everything and it just becomes toxic.
Great observations and you said it so much more succinctly than I ever could!
@byn
Thanks. This has been a brainworm of mine for a while!
They are definitely best avoided, and failing that, best ignored. It can be easier said than done, though...
This was definitely a great and really well-written piece. And yeah U have had some reality enforcers in my life too, but fortunately I tackled them.
Welcome to Steemit Bloggers, and congrats on the Appreciator vote!
I tried following the conversation in the comments, but got a brain cramp. Subsequently, I will let this gif do the talkin' for me... 😊
Ha. Thanks.
He's kinda right, you know!
You're very welcome! And I find gifs to be a great source of wisdom... 😜
Hey @matbaker, this is an interesting piece that echoes the thoughts of the existentialist philosophers.
I’ll admit that I’m one of those reality enforcers. I’m definitely not a narcissist, though, and it’s not an ego thing for me to defend reality.
Sure there are: 2+2= 4, triangles have only 3 sides, water is wet, people have concepts of good and evil, justice and injustice, etc.
I find such universal absolutes to be reminders to be careful to distinguish reality from preferences and encourage people to be open-minded and to engage in civil debates. As a friend of mine says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Good debates help us to understand one another and help us to knock the rough edges off of our own thinking.
You're not defending reality is my point. You're defending your reality. There is nothing wrong with that, and we all do it to some degree, but in my opinion, some are more open to letting in alternative perspectives than others.
I touched on the fact that from a scientific perspective, reality could be argued to be fixed at times. However, 2+2 only equals 4 in decimal counting, and water is wet, but whether that wetness is welcomed, what temperature it is and how it tastes is down to an individual. And water is wet is a very human perspective and distinction. You'll be telling me the sky is blue, next!
People do have concepts of good and evil, and there will be a broad convergence, but there are very few moral absolutes. It's the same for justice and injustice too - these are subjective, often deeply so.
To argue that injustice/justice and good/evil are absolutes means that yes, you are indeed a reality enforcer.
I am all for a good debate, by the way. I write to have my views questioned, and am very happy to re-appraise them. You haven't convinced me to do so yet, though!
I liked this - I'm one for being there are no absolutes in reality. The terrorist can be a saviour and warrior in his home country, the psychopath that experiments on and kills homeless people can also be seen as a revolutionary in modern medicine, and so, so many other things!
There are no absolutes, ever.
I may podcast about this in my matrix podcast :)
Does this make me your muse?
This is all so sudden!
I think there may be a few moral absolutes...although for everything I can come up with, I think I can find an alternate way of viewing it. There must be some though, surely?
Are you absolutely sure?
Well, if you want to home in on this particular aspect of the debate...see the chat below where we are debating this very point...
As I asked previously - can you name a universal absolute? :)
As I answered below: genocide is wrong. The fact that some people have committed it does not change this, Ray. Is there a reasonable ethical or moral argument that can justify genocide? I can't think of one.
The question wasn't aimed at you!
But in reality - genocide is only wrong in the eye of some people; which is subjective also, but it's not absolute.
Ask some white people from the KKK if they think African Americans should be extinct :P
Yes, but Ray, you could make the argument that rape and paedophilia are okay (not that you would think that!) based on that logic! I think we may be having a semantic argument here. What I see as absolute, you don't!
Can you name a universal absolute? :)
It is wrong to commit genocide.
I am trying to find an angle where it could be reasonably argued that this is not wrong. I wouldn't have to agree with it (obviously), that's not the point!
Is there a argument to say that genocide might not be wrong?
I believe it's wrong to commit genocide too; although some Africans would disagree. Hitler would too, and many others :P
God would disagree!
God operates on a different system of morality. For the sake of this conversation, he doesn't count.
A moral absolute is not defined as something that no-one would ever do. There have been genocides in human history (as we know), and for the purposes of this exercise, what we need to establish is :
"is there a reasonable moral or ethical argument that could be posited to justify any given action?"
If there is, then it is not a moral absolute.
It is, of course, still subjective. There is no ultimate arbiter. Which kind of goes back (loosely) to the OT!
I don't agree with this because this conflicts with my worldview, and anything other than my own worldview is obviously written by a moron and someone who doesn't undertsand.. me.. um, I mean reality :)
You are SO passive/aggressive.
Obviously @matbaker.
That's why Albert Einstein found the equation E=mc2 after putting a lot of work into the Theory of relativity!
Universe itself is not absolute.
I am not sure what you mean, Sathya! I think there are some scientific constants that are absolute. It is possible we haven't found any yet, though. I am not clever enough to say.
Beautiful one...!