You may be partially joking but in my opinion it's no joke. You and many others are suffering from real PTSD caused by real trauma. PTSD can be caused by extreme short term trauma (like seeing someone slaughtered) or by lower-level long term trauma (like an abusive relationship). More of your trauma is of the second type than the first, but it's still real, and it can still cause lasting effects. Avoiding actions associated with the trauma - that's a symptom of PTSD. Feeling extremely uneasy about recounting the details of the trauma is appropriate and normal.
I was hoping now would be a time of healing for those who have been abused (and even ruined) by prohibition, but for the most part the war on drugs is accelerating instead of going away, so there's more work (and trauma) ahead. Take care of yourself as best you can.