RE: What is patriarchy? Is a patriarchy the same as a society led by men, or is it more, a society led by fear and a feeling of scarcity, that happens to be an environment in which the masculine takes charge?
Thank you. I'm quite happy about the experience too. With my second child (at home with a incompetent midwife) I had such a bad experience that I said this would never happen again. So when I fell pregnant again, I was quite certain to do it alone fairly shortly after I knew I was pregnant. It is when we're allowed to listen to our own bodies and age old powers, that the body will just take over and do what needs to be done. I managed to stay relaxed and without fear, and that makes all the difference. With my first unassisted birth, I still had some trauma to work through, so it took a bit longer (still not long at all, but longer than the other births before). But with my youngest, it all went so fast that I wished it'd all slow down a bit. I would have done it again that same night if it were possible!
Wow, way to go girl! So you didn't have any assistence at all? Is that even allowed in your country? Where are you from? So how did you arrange that? You had the option of going to a hospital last minute in case things were complicated? I'm interested to know because if I get pregnant I would like to do it alone too. And how did you handle the umbilical cord etc?
I had my eldest son unassisted in Holland. It's not illegal there. The hospital was 5 minutes from our house, but trusting yourself and body is important and with that you can't have doubts take over (doubts meaning: if things go wrong etc...that's almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy). I did have to deal with CPS in Holland, partly because of that, partly because of meddling parents in law...I had my youngest son here in Ireland. Here unassisted birth is also not illegal, but of course frowned upon. I chose to go completely unassisted, even the pregnancy here. Because here the most check-ups are done at the family doctor's office and I knew he would have caused problems for me that I didn't need. I cut the umbilical cord myself, twice. I left it until it stopped thumping, that's the trick to cutting without blood streaming out. Cutting the cord right away like they often do in hospitals is wrong in so many ways...Here because of new laws about insurance for midwives, the mother to be basically has two choices: hospital or unassisted. So the choice was quite easy for me. The only thing I had was Shepard's purse tincture and black (I think, could be blue) cohosh just in case the placenta would take too long (with too long I mean more than 75 minutes...something that's not done in hospitals) or a haemorrhage. I only used the Shepard's purse because my ex was on his way and I didn't want to have to deal with all that when he was there. Other than that, no issues. I lived an hour from the hospital, my friend was with me to help, and if I would have had to depend on her to drive me (it took her a bit to get to me) I would have had my son in the car! So this was the best option for me. I am more than happy to chat some more about this if and whenever you want. I have lists and lists of information that was very useful to me. I might even write about it at some stage. :)
That was very brave of you. Wonderful! I'm sure many women would like to read about it. I am from Holland, but thought you were from America. It's good to trust yourself fully, that is the best base to do anything. I also like to tie my camel to the tree though. (Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.) I believe we can do both. When I get pregnant I 'll keep it in mind that I can contact you. Thanks for sharing. <3