Self forgiveness blog 5: fear of loss and fear of the future

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear the future and the unknown that the future represents

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear loss and losing everything in the future

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to seek out what I call ‘fast love experience - romances and erotic fantasies - as a way of escaping reality and my fear of the future, using a point of giving up/giving into my future and within this fear, justifying escaping with love and sex experiences where I ‘live like there is no tomorrow’

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to give into past memories where I did not think about or consider my future and where I eded up with nothing/poor/struggling/starving, and allow these memories to affect me today where I fear ending up with nothing again somehow and therefore project my past not my future where I constantly worry about/fear my future as the past repeating itself again

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to neglect the very thing that affects my future and creates my future which is my present, who I am and what I do here within my present reality

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear running out of money in the future and not having a job in the future

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear and project something that is not even here as my future, and within that, that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to utilize what is here to create the best future possible, as I fear running out of money and not having a home/source of income in the future and yet currently I do have money and a home and a source of income and thus I forgive myself that I’ve not even accepted and allowed myself to utilize what I have and the time its bought me as an opportunity to focus on myself and my mind and sorting myself out through self introspection, self honesty and elf forgiveness in applying myself in my process of self realization

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to recognize what I have in the present and arrange my priorities accordingly by existing within the fear of loss

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear losing what I have currently because I fear the future and within this, not seeing how I can invest in myself and invest the time and resources I have currently into myself and thus into my future

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that fearing losing what I have in the future is actually the fear of not utilizing what I have in the present to the best benefit of myself and all life equally

I commit myself to give up the fear of the future and stop existing in the fear of the future

I commit myself to recognize the present and the time/resources/opportunity that I have in the present, as I see, realize and understand that what I do in the present creates my future and that the fear of the future is created by not living fully in the present and utilizing what is here in the present

When and as I see myself worrying about/fearing the future/fearing loss in the future - I stop, I breathe and I redirect myself to act and take the necessary steps to direct my present as I see, realize and understand that what I do here in the present is what creates my future and thus if I do everything I can to create a life that is best for all here in the present in every moment then every moment as the future will be cool as that will then be my future

I commit myself to realize that there is no future to fear/try and control, as every moment is the present here

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that it is useless to try and control the future as the future is not real and thus something that cannot be controlled, and that it is futile to do this when I can simply self direct myself to create the best self/life possible here in the present in every moment