Well written post. And you certainly delved into things - very deeply ! Kudos to you for revealing your life & yourself !

ONE of MY FAVORITE PARTS:
When u said:

"This kind is the muse/artist relationship. This one sweeps you away, and captures your imagination in ways that are hard to describe. These are the ones I like because I prefer to be in love with an ideal representation of a human which is ungraspable."

Hmmm, I can relate, as I had a relationship like the 1 u described (it ended in bitterness, as well). I don't make close friends all that easily, & after I'd given so much & listened to the gal for so long & so well, she just wasn't there for me when 1 of my parents died).

Also appreciated when u commented, "No one can stop me from having dreams of changing the world. Even if I lose everything, I can still take actions towards those #goals. " - BRAVO !

You have a firm grasp on reality, and should be slated to make some #Positive changes, indeed.

Btw, if u like #Goal oriented tools, you may like Goal-buddy.com
It's a TOOL I use ♦♦ TAKE CARE, you.

P.S. I scoff sometimes, too, at the sentimental shit (at 'Hallmark moments' ).

P.P.S. - Congrats on Your Amazon #success !