Chaos in the life of a Brown Girl.
Art saved her, when people failed her
Living in a third-world country is the ultimate torture. Not because their economy is going down but also their standards, empathy, and basic manners.
This is especially true when you're a girl when she gets a silver jubilee, life becomes miserable for her.
Her life would be defined by only one thing now and if she doesn't get it any soon she will be worthless. People will tell her that you are wasting your time.
No matter how educated you are, what you work, or what is your purpose in life, you are incomplete without that thing.
They make that certain thing the only definition and purpose of your life.
They make your life chaotic.
If you're a Brown girl reading this, you must have known by now what I am talking about.
Yes, you guessed it right.
It's marriage, the only goal of brown people and this generation for their lives.
I was asked by one of my extended family members when are you getting married.
when I posted my friend's wedding pictures on WhatsApp.
I replied when people will stop asking.
And you know what did she reply?
Then you'll never get married.
I was stunned by her answer and audacity. I was frozen. Oh, I was Elsa.
Honestly, it was hurtful not because I was desperate but after reading her blunt answer.
How easy it is for people to say things I'll never imagine saying due to the fear of karma.
Why people are so interested in your personal matter and ask questions they shouldn't ask?
Anyhow, I ignored her. My life was going well, I was reading and writing, which was a nice purpose, wasn't it?
But but but...
Life hits you from where you never imagined. When your closest family members target you and taunt you behind your back that your age for marriage is passing by because you're 25 now.
The clock is ticking and you're gonna spoil like rotten milk
Unknown
Oh boy, it shatters your soul when your people do so and so did mine.
My heart was broken and I spent the whole day and night crying. I thought I was worthless. What am I doing in life? Content writing?
It's Nothing.
I was confused. I couldn't function and write. Would only cry in front of the only one who always listens to me and I am not ashamed to be vulnerable in front of him.
The next day, I was fine, I don't complain about these things to people.
During those days, I recalled Jo March from Little Women when she said:
I just feel like women,
They have minds and they have souls
As well as just hearts
They have got ambition and they have got talent
As well as just beauty
I'm so sick of people saying that LOVE(marriage) is just all a woman is fit for
I'm so sick of it, but I'm so lonely
However, these people make you insecure and confused and make you realize things you never pay attention to. They make you desperate for things you are not.
They set unrealistic beauty standards to trap weak women to make them spend their whole day in front of the mirror, or in the kitchen to make gol rotti.
I swear these are the only things women are capable of doing according to them.
They create peer pressure to get married and have your dream life ahead.
Lol, and these are those people whose marriages are chaotic and full of drama where the basic purpose of marriage, PEACE, is not present.
Instead of working on their marriages and relations, they want everybody else to suffer like them.
I'm not against marriage but blindly going for it is surely not my cup of tea.
Life is hard
Marriages are hard
Being single is hard
Choose your hard
For me, a woman is not just a machine to deliver babies but she has intellect and talent and skills other than that.
As Mahira Khan promised to Allah Miyan:
If you show me this much(consider a pinch) light and hope, I'll take it and run with it.
I got my light. I write now for my catharsis. I read to improve my life. I painted for the first time to get out of this chaos.
Painting is a therapy for those who are confused and surrounded by negative energies.
I tried this new thing of painting cardboard cabins, which I used to paint on my computer a decade ago.
Paint when people make you doubt yourself
Perfection is overrated and we'll always encounter chaotic people. But they make us strong and tough to handle the hardships of this life.
As @weisser-rabe said in her post that creativity rise from debris.
Without art, books, and writing on Steemit, I may have lost my mind in this chaotic world
Thank you Amina!
Thank you for writing again and thank you for talking your heart out. Thank you for your words and thank you for being so authentic ❤️
I know you believe in the institution of marriage. It's just that maybe you are surrounded by wrong examples or poor role models. I know you are comfortable in your own skin and very self-assured. I hope you find your 'rock,' or maybe someone finds their 'rock' in you and I hope you continue to inspire those around you.
Keep rocking either way.
Much love ❤️
AminaSafdar stands for herself, that her way to protect her and you deserve appreciation. More or less, I face the same problem, but guess what happened. I just have to smile in answering these questions. Because if I give them a serious answer, they start a story in which they proved that they suffer more in their marriage, but they protect the worst marriage to continue. And on this they expected that I should be convinced of this bakwas argument with them😂. The next question is about the job. They said .....itna par likh k ghr bathi ho kea fiada hva parny ka? jasy mulk mn to jobs ki line lgi pri h ....and I was like relax dude I'm trying, beside this what can I do? Mainly women are involved in the manipulation of their next generation, isn't they?......Your writing is just like painting ,it include all the colors ,all the feelings. Reading this blog I thought I'm reading a very professional writer, all the arguments,proves and logics are completely synchronized.Commendable work.
I knew that you'll relate.
It feels like a gali.
You could have said prh likh k i have got to know how to handle people like you who feel empowered after leg pulling others.
Prh likh k i know how not to turn into bullies:)
say it in your heart only, otherwise...
If you know you know:p
No, i don't think only women are responsible for this, some men are so cringe that they'll let you live in peace.
One thing is common in these people is that they've got married very early + plus they have barely made it in academics.
Hahaha i don't know how to take any praise. I don't believe k i write good but it's you who see my work this way.
Thank you❤
perhaps I'm not a good writer but I'm a reader with a classy taste. So you can believe me
That's great, Amina...!
Not so long ago, even in Europe, a woman was only a good woman if she was married at some point. Of course, in conjunction with the desire to have children. Then there was a time when marriage became less important, but hey: your biological clock is ticking; you must want children...! Well, and now... Bringing children into this world...? That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it? You have to realise yourself first, find your own centre... And the climate. So many people on earth...
Nah, there's a lot of stupid time-spirit involved. For some people, marriage and family are just right, others find fulfilment and meaning in life in a different way. Only everyone can make the decision for themselves!
Unfortunately, we are still living in your old Europe.
Our biological clock has a time limit, sure, but what about those people who don't have children even after marrying young while on the other hand some have them even when they are old.
Everything has a timing and it's different for everyone. It's just as simple.
As maan @soulfuldreamer said that she knows that i believe in the charm of marriage. Of course, it can be one of the most beautiful things when two people's minds align as well.
When they are not concealing things from each other, women out of fear, and men i don't know why.
When both can discuss life and their plans with each other and their man don't belittle their stance just because they are women and have little minds.
Ameen:p
And i actually admire your marriage journey❤
And thank you to you too for asking me to write again. I might have left it but your genuine words have made my day.
Much love to both of you ladies❤❤
There is no path to marriage for me ;-)) I'm not married and I'm not considering it.
That's totally up to you😉
TEAM 5
TEAM 5
Please keep entertaining us with such unique posts.
Thank you @soulfuldreamer, it's so good to see you as a curator☺