You said exactly that when a mother keeps a pet she either loves it very much and makes it a part of the family and your mother has and loved it very much and she knows. After that he also left you and it is a very painful thing that the people you used to love are gone and it is sad that I cannot express it in words but I can understand your feeling because I've been through it, it's very painful, pain that can't be forgotten, and you cared a lot about him and cared for him a lot, so I'm sad that you lost him. You didn't find his body but you realized that he was dead or else he had to go back. But he didn't come to you. You fed him a lot and you used to feed him rice too. It's nice to hear that you cared for him as much as you should have.