Meditation for Beginners

I remember when I first heard about meditation. I honestly thought it was just some woowoo thing that those crazy hippy-dippy people did. I dismissed it as utter insanity.

But, then I kept hearing good things about it. Not only how it cultivates a sense of calm and clarity but that it can actually change the structure of our brain. Say what?! Meditation can change the structure of our brain?! Now, I was intrigued!

What was this meditation? How was it done? More importantly, could I try it?

I went online and found some basic instructions on how to meditate. I found a quiet place to sit. I tried emptying my mind. I tried focusing on just breathing. Think about nothing, I told myself. Think about nothing. Clear your mind. Stop thinking! STOP THINKING!

The more I tried, the worse it became. I couldn't stop thinking! At most, I could force myself to think about not thinking. But, I could never actually stop thinking.

Needless to say, I became quite angry about it. What was this nonsense anyway? Who were these people trying to fool? Thinking about nothing, what is that even?! Such nonsense!

Was everyone claiming to be meditating just full of it? Were they all just a bunch of liars?!

For a time, I left it alone. But still, I continued hearing great things about meditation. Finally, I decided to give it another shot. I decided to try some new approaches to see if I too could meditate.

I am going to share some of the strategies that helped me to figure out how to meditate in hopes that they may also help others who are in the same boat as I was.

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Time
It doesn't matter what other people do! It doesn't matter if other people boast that they meditate for hours on end every day. So what! That doesn't mean that you need to.

If you are just starting out and you can successfully meditate for 5 minutes a day, then that's a WIN. There is no one who can tell you how much time you should meditate, or how much time is enough for you. Only you can figure that out.

If you're struggling with clearing your mind, then you might want to consider starting small. What if you can do it for just 2 minutes? Set yourself up for success by being realistic with your expectations. Build over time.

Remember, quality over quantity. "Half-meditating" isn't really a thing. Sitting there trying to meditate endlessly is not going to be as effective as actually meditating.

Make time to meditate. Consider what keeps you busy. If you are in a rush to meditate, chances are that it will be harder to meditate. Strong boundaries in my life have given me the time and space to give myself time.

It's great to do things for others. It's great to help others. But, we need to also make time for ourselves. We need to also look after ourselves.

One of the most important things we can give to ourselves is time. Time to care for ourselves, time to rest, time with no expectations beyond being kind and loving towards ourselves. Find balance.

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Breathing
Mindful breathing is powerful. Don't knock it! It can bring about an instant calm even in the worst of situations.

Have you ever noticed that when things get really crazy it's like we literally forget how to breathe? At those times, mindful breathing is most important and will have the greatest impact.

If you can't get the hang of meditating at first, then work on breathing first. There are even mindful breathing apps available for this for your phone. These apps can help us so that we don't subconsciously speed up our breathing or take uneven breaths.

Don't worry if it's not perfect at first. These things take practice. Mindful breathing takes time to learn. At the beginning, you will have to really pay attention to what you are doing and how you are doing it. With practice it will become more more natural and easy to do.

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Acceptance
It may sound weird, but acceptance is an important practice and particularly helpful to get into the right headspace for meditation.

If you are fretting about the past, if you are beating yourself up over things that are in the past, that will stand in your way in the here and now. The same goes for worrying about the future. The more you worry about the future, the less you are present in the here and now.

The less present we are, the less effective we are. Acceptance of whatever circumstance we find ourselves is necessary in order to work with the here and now.

It's not always necessary to introduce judgment into everything. We don't need to take everything personally, or beat ourselves up. We don't have to pull our emotions into every single thing. We can choose to accept the moment and proceed from there.

We can give ourselves a breather, a moment, before deciding what to do next. Many times a thought out response or reaction is better than acting on impulse.

Forgiveness of self and others will allow you to fall into acceptance more easily. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you condone a person's actions, it just means that you can let go. This quote has always helped to remind me of why forgiveness is so important: "Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." -Buddha

In short, hanging on to anger, sadness, hate, regret, shame, etc., does nothing to solve anything. Work on focusing on what you can do, not on what you can't. Empower yourself.

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Exercise
If you are going to take the time to sit in stillness, you might also want to consider the opposite. Exercise is good for your body. It releases stress and anxiety. It helps with body pain. It helps with flexibility and endurance.

In my own experience, sitting in stillness, is easier and more peaceful when I know I have been taking care of my body. It's as though even my body has more patience for it. In the past, when I didn't exercise regularly, I would actually get sore from sitting still. It was also harder for me to get my body to relax.
You can even do something called "Mindful Walking". As you walk, try to connect to your senses. How does the ground feel? What are the smells? What do you hear? What do you see? It's practicing as much awareness and presence in the moment as possible.

This practice really helped me to train my mind to let go of constant incessant thought.

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Guided Meditation
A great tool for when we are dealing with difficulty, or for those times when we feel overwhelmed, is to use Guided Meditation. There are many free guided meditations available online in audio and video format. They usually have a description as to their focus and intent.

Sometimes, it is easier to listen and focus on someone else's instructions than to focus on quieting our own thoughts. Guided meditations can provide a reprieve from over-thinking. They can be a great introduction to the world of meditation.

There are also many free soundtracks and videos with ambient noise for when we are struggling to meditate in a noisy environment.

When I first began learning how to meditate, I would listen to guided meditations before I went to bed. They really helped me to relax. Over time, I began to walk myself through the process, but I still fought with distraction constantly pulling me out of meditation. That's when I started listening to ambient soundtracks.

Next, I turned to listening to nature sounds and bowl singing. However, I realize bowl singing is not going to appeal to everyone. Remember, it's all up to you to decide what you want to try and what works for you.

Again, don't worry about what people think. You're doing this for you.

Image by Igor Link from Pixabay

Object Meditation
Another technique for learning how to meditate, is Object Meditation. This is a lot like mindful walking. But instead of walking, you are sitting.

You are focused on just one thing. Trying to absorb as many details of whatever you are focused on. Trying to bring it fully into your senses. Trying to bring as much of your awareness to that object as possible.

My personal preference is to use objects in nature, just because I find nature so awe inspiring. Even though I can now meditate, I still will do this type of meditation to really appreciate and drink in a moment.

I'll walk by a flowering tree and just stop to sit there motionless taking it in. I'll be thinking of nothing except focusing on that tree. It can really bring a lot of depth to a moment when you stop to enjoy moments like this.

When I first started doing this, my favorite was to sit by a stream and just watch the stream. There is something about flowing water that just calms and quiets the mind.

Object Meditation can also give you a real sense of connection not just to whatever you are focused on, but also to life, and to yourself.

I invite you to try meditation out. It's a great stress reliever, helping you to feel calmer, and more focused. It can make you more resilient. It can help lower your blood pressure, and build up your body's immunity. It can help increase your focus, your memory, and your problem-solving skills. It can boost your creativity. There are seriously so many benefits! Why not try it for yourself? Why not check it out?

I leave you with one of my favorite quotes about mindfulness and presence:

“Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves - slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

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Thanks for taking the time to read my article.

Please feel free to ask any questions.

If you have a topic request, please leave it in the comments.

-Akiroq Brost

Check out my other articles:
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Strategies for Coping With Criticism in a Positive Way.
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Create a Life You Love with the Powerful Intentions.
How Self-Acceptance Will Set You Free.
Create a Life of Peace Through Mindfulness.
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Finding your way back to yourself, reconnecting to love.