Wow! I'm humbled by by your response and I am so glad that you typed it out for everybody. I think that no matter how bad the situation we have the power to get positive results out of it and when you are in that situation it's never easy and I know that you know that now. I'm happy that you are really pushing yourself and trying to keep yourself in a positive state of mind and I am sure even if you feel right now that steemit isn't making you enough money but the fact that it makes you feel better is also a good thing! consistency is key and you will get where you need to be. I've been here for a year and it's not always been easy for me. but looking back I think the hard work I put into steemit has been worth it. I've made real friends in my life thanks to steemit and I don't think I could have met better human beings if I wasn't for this site. it's not just the money but its the real world relationships that matter too so be positive and keep working and you can change your life