God imposes self-restrictions to fight off creeping sense of nihilism

Having enjoyed the exuberant feeling of being omniscient and omnipotent for at least 14 billion years, God finally decided to put certain limits on himself earlier this week. In a recent interview, the Creator expressed that his lack of boundaries was leading him in an increasingly hedonistic direction and that doing whatever he wanted eventually felt meaningless. As a consequence, God has decided to re-write his nature and implement a 5 % reduction in his omniscience and omnipotence with immediate effect.

“You have fun with it for a while, but then it gets kinda boring”, God said about the ability to design and change stuff at a whim. “I also wish there were things I didn’t know, like, It’d be really fun to experience learning something new, like a new skill or a fun fact or something”, God continued, saying he eventually got disillusioned by his knowing all there is to know. “I guess what I need is something that is a challenge. Just whatever will give me something to fight for”, God expressed.

Sensing an increasing lack of purpose, God subconsciously replaced it with short-sighted pleasure. “I was engaging in destructive habits, such as this Earth thing, where I created life and tons of suffering. But I guess, by giving those humans tons of pain and challenges, all I did was give them all the things I most wanted for myself, something to strive for”, God said sentimentally. The Lord now expects (and knows through his omniscience) that the 5 % reduction in his supernatural powers will give him a more balanced approach to existence in the future.

Our creator says he is ready to start hustling and improving his work-ethic, saying that if he finds pleasure in his new approach, he might reduce his powers even more to make it even more fun. “Like, who knows, except me, how low I will go on the superpowers, maybe I will take them all away at some point. After all, life with restrictions is pretty cool, and one day, who knows, except me, I might even turn into a restricted life form that has no idea it is me.”

http://scandinavianjournal.com/