Day 6 of Seven Days of Gratitude | Focusing On Self Acceptance | #MeditationMarch
Well well well it's Day 6 of focused meditation on Gratefulness! In some ways, it feels like the first 5 days I've ever been grateful because at the end of each session I end up feeling like an absolute BRAT for feeling, cranky, frustrated or insecure.
Its been a bit of a struggle the past few days, in truth my head has been all over the place. But each day I've been able to bring myself back...
Meditation is becoming my mental-state "Get Out Of Jail Free" card.
Like an ejector seat a fighter pilot would use to bail out of a jet plummeting toward earth. And the sooner I can get over my own ego, and quit punishing myself and just take 10 or 15 minutes to just SIT, the better it is.
Todays Gratitude meditation focused on self acceptance. It's pretty telling about my head-state lately, because I was entirely expecting to be delving into the pits of my physical insecurities to confront long standing demons weilding a sword crafted with enlightenment and superior intellect. And there was.. nothing.
I was directed to focus on times I was brave, times I took a risk, times that I rose to the occasion and times that I kept fighting in spite of feeling like I had nothing left. And far be it from me to brag, or gas myself up, (those of you who frequent this blog know that's my my thing) but, it helped me remember that, I've done all of those things.
"Yeah you!"
I've walked away from relationships that weren't right, I've walked dogs in the rain in New York city for 50 bucks a day (on a good day), I've worked hard to brake familial patterns that were destructive and don't serve me. I've taken risks, pursued, love, life, and the things that make me happy. I've worked hard to improve my mental and physical health to be able to carry a gal full of passion for life through all the adventures that still await her.
I am the sum of all these things, and so, why do I choose to focus on physical imperfections? Silly isn't it...
Until tomorrow friends,
<3
Dayleeo
You're doing extremely well. And, instead of being so hard on yourself, I like to read about you focusing on all the good, brave and sometimes risky things that you have done and are still doing. Oh and don't misunderstand me, I also love to read about struggles, but these days I really enjoy happy endings ;>)
Keep up the great work and have a lovely weekend!
I try to keep a balance, because when I don't reflect on where you need to improve, the bit where I've fixed it doesn't really have an effect after I achieved it.
I've spent so much time just being on to the next thing. You can't have a happy ending without a beginning and middle right?
<3
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement as always @vincentnijman- you are so appreciated!
Filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard used to say something along the lines of:
I guess the same holds true for life. Although I start to believe more and more in waves, ups and downs and a more circular pattern.
Reflection is definitely important and we need to prioritize that. It's as important a task, perhaps even more important. than what we see as our 'tasks'.
Thank you for your kind words. I am very grateful for so many things and people. If I were to make a list, you would definitely be on it.
P.S. Talking about 'being on the next thing'. I am becoming more and more aware of a different way of living, way more connected to the now and not just during the couple of (dozen of) minutes of daily meditation. Be on the lookout for my upcoming post(s). Who knows, it might help you too ;>)
Have a lovely day!
Will certainly look forward to that!
I agree, for me the ultimate goal is to be more mindful and present in the times OUTSIDE of meditation, brain needs practice for it to become a reflex that's all :)