Being a People-pleaser myself, I know how hard it can be to let go and stop trying to make everyone happy, trying to please them, and to dare to say "no". It used to be a lot more of a struggle. Saying "no" sometimes still is, but we truly can't rely on others to make ourselves happy and they can't rely on us to be happy either. I've learnt a lot while healing from codependency and seeking validation form others does not replace the void within that self-loathing will cause. We need self-love. When we seek validation, we give permission to others to tell us what to do and how to do it and to complain how unhappy they are if we don't do it. It allows them to blame other and victimise themselves. We can fall in the same traps too. By focusing on making ourselves happy and not people-pleasing, then we can step away from those traps. It can be tough at times though.