Find Happiness, Hold On To It.
The one person you owe a thing in this world is you and the one thing you owe yourself is to always be happy.
I don't care if it sounds selfish but the most important thing in this life is myself and my happiness. The whole world revolves around me first and if it makes me happy to make the world revolve around someone or something else then I'll gladly do but not at a detriment to my own happiness.
There are quite a few things that could happen when you put a host of other things ahead of yourself; the natural human instinct expects a form of reciprocal relationship with people we deal with. This means that I naturally expect you to treat me the same way I do you. So when I put your needs far above mine and you don't do the same for me, I'll tend to become disheartened and sad and every other bad feeling which are all very harmful to me. So in putting others before myself, I've ended up hurting myself and could go on regretting the actions especially when I forced myself to do it.
Now imagine the very selfish version of me that won't put anything else before me except it's something that makes me happy. We find happiness in sometimes very weird places and taking a risk for you might give me some sort of fulfillment or happiness so much so that I won't really care what the outcome might be. Now even if I don't get the same treatment from you, I won't feel sad because my happiness was no longer dependent on you returning the favor but on me actually carrying out the task.
Selfish me wins!
Where Can You Find Happiness?
There are several places we could go to find happiness, and for many different reasons. They could range from the pretty obvious options to the seemingly bizarre ones. I'll talk about the few I've either noticed or used in my personal life.
Family
Many times, the family is always the first port of call in the pursuit of happiness. It's the set of people we first had contact with, it's the set of people we first get to spend the bulk of our time with. We go through stuff together and have fond memories of these things. They're people who are supposed to care about us far more than anyone else could and so they tend to make us happy. While this is not always the case, owing to various reasons, it's most times the first example of what happiness is and where you can run to when in search of happiness.
Music
For someone who repeatedly falls victim to mood swings, music has done a lot of rescuing my sorry ass. I bet there's a scientific research somewhere as to how and why music is able to perform this magical feat but I still don't understand. I've discovered that not all songs have this power to lighten dark moods and most times the songs that do always have some sort of attachment to the listener. This is somehow tied to the memories we get from activities with the family. So somehow, something that made you happy in the past could still make you happy sometime in the future.
Events
Could be an hobby or a pastime; something you do that brings out the best in you. As mentioned earlier, something that has made you happy in the past could potentially make you happy again. The issue now would be how to carry yourself back to the particular event and relive every moment. This would probably involve a tiny bit of daydreaming or actually attending the event if it's something that happens periodically.
Places
Early on in life when I was just coming to terms with the type of human I am, I found myself enjoying my own company in dark rooms. I always turned off the lights and allowed my imaginations run wild. In that moment, nothing else mattered and whatever might have made me sad prior to that was literally dead. My parents became worried at a point but it helped me a lot.
It's important to have that one place or places you can always go to get a clean slate. It's never okay to just wallow in a sad phase without any rescue in sight.
Friends
This one rarely works for me or let's say it works way slower than the others. And also because making humans your source of happiness is the most unreliable thing you can ever do. The same way family won't always be there for you no matter how hard they try; they're only human unlike your music playlist that'll always be there or that dark room or that memory.
But friends have their functions. They can cheer you up or at least save you from overthinking stuff and taking stupid decisions. If you have friends who really care about you, you're such a lucky child and you shouldn't mess it up!
Conclusion
Nothing is more important than my happiness! It took a while for me to fully grasp this concept and if you're hearing it for the first time, I really don't expect you to totally agree with me right away. You'll get it with time.
Whatever you do, find happiness and hold on to it!
What you have described as sources of happiness are actually your comfort zones. Happiness is more long term than holding on to a short term source of comfort.
For example, my favorite music puts me in a good mood and I may feel good for a few hours. But after those few hours are over and I become sad then I cannot count music as a source of happiness.
Instead, if I learn to control my mood changes through meditation I can say that I have a good source of happiness. Similarly being healthy can be a source of happiness. Family, as you have mentioned is also a good source.
Just thought I'd point out the small difference. Thanks for the post!
I'm not too sure it's tied to the length of its stay but I can see what you mean. Meditation itself has to be done on a continuous basis and so might not be too different from listening to your favorite music on a continuous basis (although I have no experience on meditation).
Beautyfull thanx for sharing vote,resteem,
i will follow u on steemit.
in life nothing better than Happiness!
I have been selfless enough, people take advantage of it a lot, i have tried being selfish, still doesnt aurgur well with me. I will find time and go to the suggested places above. Thanks for sharing
You just need time to either adjust to it or probably find something that works best for you. I see and use being selfish as an armor to shield me while I see music, events, and places as the go to places after the damage must have been done.
So it depends; do you want to keep treating and recovering from the damage or avoid it as much as possible?
I think i have to avoid it. Thanks
You are right. Our happiness is the most important and can be found very easily
i second that
@fisteganos, bro it feels good to visit your page again after such a long time. I stayed out of steemit.com activities for one week because my device broke down and I needed to get a new one. Really missed your rich articles... Back now, however
@eurogee
So true! Gotta be happy! Keep it up! 🐓🐓
Well the post did start out rather selfish, but it got more nuanced as it went on!
Sad but true.
😊
So true! Congratulations! Following you!