The monetary boundaries of friendship?

Last night, a friend asked a favour of me, it wouldn't be overly difficult to fulfil but would take a couple of hours to complete. She had taken some photos of her daughter (on her phone) for a Christmas card for friends and family but, there were some issues and they required some quite heavy editing. I said I would have a look and see what I could do, but no promises.

This morning, she sent them across via email and then Whatsapp'd to ask for my account number and the price. My response was, 'In what world did you think I would charge you for this?'

So, at what point does one charge a friend? This is the second time in a week this issue has come up with the first one being with someone from Steemit I have never met in person.

Living in Finland, I have come across this often with one example being when many years ago my phone broke and I needed a replacement. My friend said he had an old Nokia 8210 (6 years old at the time) in a drawer and I could have that one, for 10€. He was definitely not in need of the money yet, he could not let it go without a token price. I was his Best Man at his wedding.

I understand offering to pay but, I would feel very awkward asking for or taking money from a friend for something that has very little value or is a couple hours work. Where is the line, is there a convention I don't know about?

Some people have the attitude to 'Never work for free,' if there isn't something tangible in it for them, they will not do it. My approach is that there is value in the relationship itself and at times one provides a service and other times they receive. Like buying rounds of drinks.

Perhaps my friend would prefer to pay than to owe a favour in return, even though it is a favour I would never collect upon. Maybe she feels it would hang over her head somehow. Since she lives a few hundred kilometres away, it could be that she knows it is unlikely that she would be able to take me for a coffee like she offered (Wine if I did a decent job) after I refused to give my bank account.

The other week, I transported my in-laws to and from the airport so they didn't need to pay for a taxi yet, they made me take money for the trip. There was no refusing it. In my opinion, we are family and no money is required. Am I naive?

It is not like I couldn't use the money from time to time but in my view, the rarity of the requests and the small amounts involved make the value of the money insignificant in regards to the value of a long-term relationship. When money is involved in personal relationships, pettiness often follows. Perhaps this is why they say 'Don't mix business with pleasure' and 'Don't get into business with family.'

Personal relationships can become difficult when money is involved as it applies many different kinds of stressors from performance expectations to defaults on payments. I prefer to keep some separation between business and social but I find it difficult to do so in my line of work as personal approach is a big part of my business. Clients soon become friends.

I wonder in the long-term, what kinds of effects on relationships having social networks tied to currencies and payments between friends will have. What do you think about money between friends situations? Any experiences?

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]

Oh, I did a good enough job to qualify for being owed a glass of wine.