How to stop taking things personally!
It might be a shock to some but you are not the center of the world. All these experiences come in and can be so overwhelming that we sometimes forget there is an entire world full of people outside of us. All living their own lives, looking for happiness.
So when someone acts rude or mean to us, we might think it has to do with us and we end up taking it personally. As a result we might feel bad about ourselves and it can even end up hurting our self esteem.
But truth to be told. Most people are just focused on themselves, and it’s very likely they just had a bad day and worked it out on you.
So it isn’t a personal thing. People can get lost in their emotions and with a lack of understanding, they try everything to feel better about themselves again. Even if that means putting others down.
What helps me a lot is when a person is mean or rude to me, I just remember we all just want to be happy, and that person must be having a hard time at that moment. I actually most of the time, end up feeling a bit sorry for that person!
I also tend to imagine the person as a little kid trying to get attention, because isn’t that what we are inside?
When we see a kid acting up, we recognize it’s a cry for attention, so why would that be any different for adults?!
I used to have this friend that, looking back now, only was my friend because of pure selfish reasons. As long she could get things done from me, we’d spend time together and we actually had a lot of fun.
After a while she got everything she wanted out of our “friendship” and ever since we stopped talking to each other. I actually tried talking to her about this, asking whether I did something wrong, or if I could help with something, but it was clear she didn’t have any interest in neither talking or spending time together anymore. And that’s where it ended.
You can try and take responsibility address things or trying to figure out what might be the actual issue. Look for proof. Maybe it’s just you who has some warped ideas about the situation.
If it doesn’t work out then that’s the way it is. It’s not a personal thing and it’s not like you can force people to like you or be friends with you. And even so, would you really want to have a forced relationship with a person that just acts that he or she cares?
Understanding that toxic people are people who are lost and just want to be happy, doesn’t mean you have to let them into your life of course. But understanding it’s not a personal thing at least makes it so you can sleep at night, and if you do want to help that person, it allows you to deal with the situation in a better way!
So do you have any toxic people in your life? How did you deal with them?
Here are some other posts you might like!
On asking favors: https://steemit.com/steemit/@athenajade/let-s-spread-that-steemit-love
How I got off my couch and started to run: https://steemit.com/health/@athenajade/couch-to-5k
On how language influences us: https://steemit.com/psychology/@athenajade/do-we-speak-the-same-language
On absolute truths: https://steemit.com/psychology/@athenajade/debate-1-is-there-such-a-thing-as-an-absolute-universal-truth
On the limitations our conditioning puts upon us: https://steemit.com/life/@athenajade/this-inner-cage-called-conditioning
On growing our own potential: https://steemit.com/life/@athenajade/whatever-you-are-doing-you-are-getting-better-at-it
empathy and deep self-reflection are traits that seem to have too easily dissipated with the arrival of the internet age. thanks for reminding us they're necessary!
I guess we all get a bit lost at times and these things tend to help me to put things into context. I can only hope it helps some other peepz out there as well :)
Well said, a technique that I tend to use when I don't understand the behavior of people is to try to view any actions that lead up to that event through their eyes. It sometimes explains how they perceive things and why they express themselves in a more negative way. Like you said in the beginning we aren't the center of the world and the behavior of people don't always are a reaction to the interaction with you but might be the effect of something that might have happened before.
Trippy!!!! <3 ye very true! It's trying to asses what went wrong, whether you can take any steps to fix it and whether you want to (some people you better don't have in your life lolz!). :)
Well said. We aren't all that different from when we were kids, apart from a larger pool of experience.
Ye mostly bad experiences and a bunch of conditioning on top of that! Makes it all a little bit harder at times to find that happy inner child! :)
wow you are right on my wavelength. conditioning can and has been a serious problem... for my masters thesis, I want to write on gender stereotypes and socialization
Sounds great! Would love to read about that!😉
Well spoken. This is a good reminder for all of us. When people bing rude or mean we don't immediately punch them in the face, unless you're having a bad day as they are at that moment, well.. That's kinda different lol
So true! If we are in a bad state ourselves it becomes a lot trickier! :p
Your so pretty and smart!
great stuff. thanks for sharing
The theme is serious - adults also behave like children, and this is constantly.
Thats true, everyone is usually focused on themselves.