Studies show alcohol in moderation is healthy due to everyday life being far more harmful

Research from the USA has proven that moderate alcohol use is beneficial to health simply because nothing is more harmful to health than everyday life.

Dr Claudia Kawas from the University of California led the study and said that alcohol improved our health because it takes the edge off sober life.

“Alcohol isn’t healthy because it’s ingredients are good for you. It’s healthy because life is bad for you and alcohol has a way of dulling the horrors of life”

“Our research finds that the burden of everyday life is equivalent to 2 standard drinks of a poisonous substance”

“By drinking this poisonous substance in moderation you increase your health because life in general is far more poisonous and harmful to health”

When asked why life was so bad for us Dr Kawas said it was due to it being one giant act that slowly wears you down and eventually ends in a medical disaster.

“Life is one stressful, meaningless charade and deep down we all know it but by getting slightly tipsy we can dull our perceptions of the world around us and relax”

“The ability to relax is what makes poisonous alcohol healthy”

Cheers.