So sorry about Chan Chan, and your loss. I'm going through real grief myself lately, also as a newcomer to really feeling that, so I really feel for you. It's a strange process, and for me, it hits hard suddenly and unexpectedly and it can infuse everything I'm doing. Life is so, so precious. Feeling for you, brother.

I'm delighted to hear your relationship with sex is shifting away from needing it. That needing part, that must be the darkest side of addiction, the worst kind being when somebody can't go without. Your question, where IS the power, is a great one. Where indeed. On one hand, the power is in the relationship, your consciousness and honesty with yourself about it, and your own cultivation of the ability to leave patterns behind when they don't serve the bigger picture. On the other hand, the power is in the greater ecosystem of your life, the way that you receive nourishment and/or live in balance with every other part of your life. The most addicted people I know are filling needs unmet by the rest of their relationships with whatever is comfortable and familiar to them rather than diversify their lives. Just my 2c,I struggle with these issues on the daily.

Feeling super grateful the world has you in it, that you grace my life, and that I get to see some of your fun parts in the digisphere when you're not close enough to touch, @itchykitten. Love you!!