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RE: Steemit Relationship: Clearing the air. (200+sbd & 10,000sp delegation challenge!)

in #steemit7 years ago (edited)

mmmm very thoughtful and heartful @itchykitten

I can relate to a lot of what you're saying, and what others are saying in the comments. Steemit definitely has that addictive reward-based pull for me, too. I am one of those artists you mention who loves doing so many things I never feel that my talents are fully utilized or my values are fully reflected in any job, nor are my interests the kinds of things that our world commercially rewards. So that pie in the sky dream of "maybe I could just post about all the things I am so actually passionate about and want to make a difference in and maybe make enough of a living to get by" appeals to me, too. Big time.

It also scares me, that addictive pull. That excitement has kept me up nights, woken me up in the middle of sleep, distracted me from other things that really need attention, and at it's scariest, I worried that it could pull me away from the in-person world of direct experience and physically-co-created relationship that is what really nourishes and sustains me and the world.

I think part of what I'm calling addictive nature of this is the game-like elements, the reward system, and, for me, the sense of unknown. Part of why I love Steemit is because it's a big experiment- we have no idea where it will go.

If I have one piece of advice for you it's that: really letting yourself be OK with the fact that you can't control it, or even necessarily understand it. And while that is exciting a lot of the time, it can also be something that allows you to take a step back when you need to. If you're going to dance with addiction, best to acknowledge where you have power and where you don't, and act accordingly. Cuz abstinence isn't all that fun, is it.

As for "What could this be?" I definitely share your hopes that Steemit could be an actually very positive force in the world, and I see ways in which some things that are really popular and being rewarded highly are just reflections of culture I actually don't want to see keep thriving.

In terms of positive potential, I think of Steemit as having the potential to be a valuation mechanism, organizing tool, and promotion tool for causes that actually matter. For instance, I could see some place-based hashtags being used to rally people to accomplish stuff "IRL" ... or people making postings of offerings, like a class they could teach in person, and then being valued and rewarded by the community at large for doing so, which might enable them to give those classes free or cheap to people who can't pay in dollars. But in order for that to happen, the culture of Steemit has to shift in this direction, and clearly, it all ready does for many.

Further, I think Steemit as a crypto has some pretty radical potential in terms of generating funds for massive projects, for wealth and land redistribution, for forms of collectivized ownership, that to me are among the biggest dreams I can dream up for it. I mean, what if Steemians together bought, like, a town somewhere? And then that town could never again be bought or sold? And everyone in it pooled their talents and resources and it was a paradise? Doesn't seem impossible.

Edited to add appreciation for how you live your values, and how this post is all at once an instance of what you want Steemit to be, an action for making that happen, and a rallying cry. <3

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mhmmmmmm!!!! I always appreciate getting to see some of your perspective Jared.

If you're going to dance with addiction, best to acknowledge where you have power and where you don't, and act accordingly. Cuz abstinence isn't all that fun, is it.

I love this... Where IS the power? And no. Abstinence isn't fun at all. Lol...I'm a lucky shit in that respect last few years. Strange thing, I feel less need to have sex recently then I have in the past...and it's really sweet! It's smoothing out my rough spots I think. I feel more relaxed. Given, I probably have a lot more sex on a regular basis than most people. But I like that I'm not so focused on it...and it still happens =) Yay!!! maybe Steemit can be like that too...I can be not entirely obsessed with it, and it still happens, and it's beautiful.

An another note, El ChanChan got hit by a car =( We found him.. It's been a weird thing...I still can't quite believe he's actually dead some moments. It's been really hard, definitely a system shock. I'm thinking that I would like to take it as an opportunity for reshaping myself a bit... We found him probably 4 days after he had been hit...so it was a lot of not knowing, worrying, hoping, trying to stay positive...and after we found him, definitely felt like somebody ripped off one of my limbs for a few days...just a big hole in my chest. I was feeling pretty somber for a while, trying to work towards the positive things.

I love you Jared!!! Thank you for being in my life. It's pretty exciting to get to access a part of you on here =)

So sorry about Chan Chan, and your loss. I'm going through real grief myself lately, also as a newcomer to really feeling that, so I really feel for you. It's a strange process, and for me, it hits hard suddenly and unexpectedly and it can infuse everything I'm doing. Life is so, so precious. Feeling for you, brother.

I'm delighted to hear your relationship with sex is shifting away from needing it. That needing part, that must be the darkest side of addiction, the worst kind being when somebody can't go without. Your question, where IS the power, is a great one. Where indeed. On one hand, the power is in the relationship, your consciousness and honesty with yourself about it, and your own cultivation of the ability to leave patterns behind when they don't serve the bigger picture. On the other hand, the power is in the greater ecosystem of your life, the way that you receive nourishment and/or live in balance with every other part of your life. The most addicted people I know are filling needs unmet by the rest of their relationships with whatever is comfortable and familiar to them rather than diversify their lives. Just my 2c,I struggle with these issues on the daily.

Feeling super grateful the world has you in it, that you grace my life, and that I get to see some of your fun parts in the digisphere when you're not close enough to touch, @itchykitten. Love you!!