The monsters under the bed
"It is all in your imagination."
Perhaps this is true, yet it doesn't stop the physical reaction to the imagination and a child who believes there is a monster under the bed will still manifest fear, sweating palms and a faster heart rate, regardless of the reality. Adults are no different are they?
What do you fear? Death, or loss of life? We protect what we know and avoid what we do not as in uncertainty there are no guarantees. And while the future is uncertain and every decision sets off a chain reaction of unintended consequences, does this mean we should stay the same, live in fear of what we believe is there hiding in the darkness?
Every company I train at is going through some form of change and no matter what the goals are or what the changes are, people fear losing what they currently have, even if they are in a position of random privilege. At one company where the office layout is changing to become a nicer place to work, one person is throwing a tantrum because they will likely lose their window seat that they never chose, it was assigned. That seat is not theirs.
Loss is something we all fear. I fear losing my daughter, should I lock her in a cage to keep her safe, or should I do my best to prepare her for the world? A world that is not rainbows and sparkles, filled with people that didn't get enough hugs as children, and worse. Should I shelter her from my fears so she cannot live a life of her own? Should I fill her with fear of the world so she chooses not to live?
I think what often happens is that when faced with uncertainty, when faced with what we do not understand, what we believe is going to cost us, we project our fears of loss onto others as if all hold the same concerns in the hope that we can drum up the support to protect our position. We try to keep our window seat at the cost of others.
We are all self-centered and therefore focus on what affects us, but the monsters I imagine under the bed are not the monsters you imagine and while I might sit and cower under the covers, you may choose to face your fears, look the beast in the eye. Or, vice versa. I wonder how many people have faced their fears and regretted the experience - and how many have chosen not to and regretted the experience. Change can bring unforeseen problems. It can also bring unforeseen solutions.
I am not risk-taking. I am not brave. I am not fearless.
But under the right conditions...
What conditions do you need to be the best version of yourself?
Is it cowering under the covers in fear of the monsters under the bed?
Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
Dear @tarazkp
Absolutely great read and interesting choice of subject. Love it.
Topic of fear has been always very close to my heart. As a passionate western boxing coach I need to deal with fear quite often (pretty much whenever my students join any serious competitions).
To understand where fear is coming from and to accept that emotion and overcome - it's a real challenge for many.
I love how you described it :)
Within my lifetime I faces number of fears, especially once being younger and travelling across the world and sometimes visiting awful and uneasy places (like Palestine).
Overcoming fear of moving around almost cost me life and I also witnessed someone being stabbed almost right in front of my eyes. Till today I regret experiencing that place. I wish I would just stay home, being to worried to visit that country.
ps. If you dont mind, I will share this post with some other people I know and engage with. I found it really worth reading :)
Yours
Piotr
Fear in my opinion, is an inherent condition of the human being, we all fear the intruder, the unknown and change, the important thing is to learn to handle our fears.
Less words. More substance! A FEARtastic comment by all standards!
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Thanks!
I believe it is good to see a little of the violence that plagues this world currently as perhaps afterward, one is willing to do something to end the suffering.
Wow..... What a beautiful piece of thought @tarazkp! Really a different angle.... to settle down all the differences.
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Dear @tarazkp
I just realized that I never actually thanked you for your reply. I really appreciate that you're so very responsive.
I also wanted to make some suggestion.
My impression is, that the hardest part of attracting attention on STEEMIT is the fact, that our audience have very little chance to actually find our publications. Lack of solid notification system is an obvious issue. And regardless how hard I would try - there is very little chance I would find out about your new interesting publications (my feed is just flooded with to many posts).
Please allow me to share some suggestion with you. If you would ever publish content related to blockchain, crypto, artificial intelligence, psychology etc.
then perhaps you could simply send me memo with link to that post.This way not only I would have a chance to read your publication, but I will also
upvote it right away with 20k SP voting power. If I would consider it interesting then I may also share it with wider audience.Please let me know what do you think.
Cheers, Piotr
Hi @crypto.piotr,
As usual, a mind blowing comment from you.
Thanks for the memo and also for sending me the link of this v.v.very interesting publication.
"....... deal with fear quite often (pretty much whenever my students join any serious competitions)"
This fear arises as a result of your concern towards the well being of those students whom you consider so close to your heart!
".... sometimes visiting awful and uneasy places (like Palestine)."
Oh yes! the unrest over there will definitely make us uneasy. No doubt about it.
"...... someone being stabbed almost right in front of my eyes.... "
Oh, my God! How cruel has this humanity become into? This is atrocious. How on the earth can they think of taking a life by stabbing so brutally? Oh my dear soul, please rest in peace.
"Till today I regret experiencing that place. I wish I would just stay home, being to worried to visit that country."
Such is the extent of the scar it created deep in your humanitarian heart was unable to digest it. And I would say this as a 'regrettable experience'.
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Thanks for the note re this post. It's very interesting and though-provoking.
Wait, you mean there really aren’t monsters under the bed? I wasted all of those running starts off my bed as a kid?
I don’t know why it is, but many/most people live with a change is bad worldview. Is it tied to our evolution? If the weather changes, the crops could fail.
People remember negatives more easily than positives so perhaps build their habits around them.
I used to do that mad dash too. Also, if you pull the covers over the back of your head, the monsters can't see you.
Except for gamblers, who remember the wins but find reasons to forget the losses. 😅
Remembering it and admitting it might be different.
I believe they still exist, but now they have found new hiding places!!! Good luck finding / avoiding them. ☺
The monsters under the bed is a very interesting title. Children and adults have their own monsters, but how you say, in a very intelligent affirmation:
We are all self-centered and therefore focus on what affects us, but the monsters I imagine under the bed are not the monsters you imagine and while I might sit and cower under the covers, you may choose to face your fears, look the beast in the eye.
I'm happy to read your post. I'm following you from now, @tarazkp.
I got your post from @crypto.piotr recomendation,
Thanks both of you.
I have always been of the thought that we will never know potential unless we try. I have failed at many things but each has allowed me to learn and adapt even when fear of loss was present. It has made me more resilient and I believe a big part what I would call success (based on my own goals).
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Hello Pior, very good article.
Personally, I am not afraid of changes, sometimes they are necessary to eliminate a crushing routine.
But, I think that every person has a fear of the greatest enemy we have, death.
Honestly, death is not what scares me but the suffering of death, which is even greater than the unknown.
Pior?
The biggest fear people have of death is the unimaginable eternity of nothing.
Well said @equipodelta.... that too the moment before the death, our fear will blow us out before the imminent death!
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We fear change because we like the comfort we are in. To start something new or be taken away from the things we are already comfortable with is a struggle. We fear rejection and it is a hard thing for us to adjust.
Fear of the unknown is also the same thing with what we already experienced. We fear the feeling of what happened to us before. Therefore, it is hard for us to adjust and move on.
Hi @tarazkp,
First of all, let me thank @crypto.piotr for the memo and also for giving me a chance to comment on this extraordinary publication of yours.
Fear will gain ground only to whom who get succumb to them, but not to those who stay strong because as well all know Fortune favors the brave.
a.] ".....every decision sets off a chain reaction of unintended consequences, does this mean we should stay the same, ......."
if we start something new, we will experience new things, it maybe good or bad, but we will learn something new, but if we hesitate to do things differently, we will be having the least chance of progressing forward in our lives.
b.] ".....live in fear of what we believe is there hiding in the darkness?"
Here I would like to mention a humorous occurrence[which almost everyone will experience who are little bit timid]. Whenever we happen to see a horror movie, we will avoid going to the dark places for quite sometime due to that movie's effect. Isn't it?
c] "...... I am not risk-taking. I am not brave. I am not fearless.
But under the right conditions..."
There is no use in saying a thing with 'ifs and buts'.
We must be able to remain the same sort of person irrespective of whatever maybe the situation or in whatever situation that person maybe in. Then only one can hope of living a fearless life FOREVER or else will need to fear about a thing that is actually non-existent.
It's hard to answer this question because I don't know what is the best version of me. It's always changing and I hope it will continue to do so. As soon as I discover the best version of me, I think I'm going to stagnate.
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It is clear that nobody wants to lose what they have obtained!
Putting an investment at risk is something that nobody would like to do. But to fear the inevitable (death), it is absurd!
Fear has a natural effect on the human being, who sometimes acts as a preventive against certain threats!
But unfounded fear, the one you suffer when you maintain a negative mentality or have resistance to change and innovation; That kind of fears can be transformed into self-destructive!
In any case it would be like putting a blindfold on your eyes to try not to see reality.
I think we should all exercise control over our "fears", using that feeling in our favor. Try to understand the situations we live and not let ourselves be dominated by the adverse, unknown or incomprehensible.
I think that fear is something that can be "cured", something that can be combated if you intend it.
you will live life at your leisure, with nothing to stop you or conditions.
I am sure that if we understand that psychological profile that we all have that potentially generates the "fear", just at that moment we can do it aside and say openly:
"I LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT FEAR..."
I think many do this as they try to protect their illusory ego from harm .
One of the best explanation I have read about fear: http://cwg.org/index.php?b=843
Yes @devann. Wonderfully explained!
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