A Laugh a Minute at the Retirement Manor

in #writing7 years ago

“Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar?”

That’s what the well-dressed octogenarian said to me and my wife as we were waiting for the sixth floor elevator. We had just been helping my parents get settled in their suite of a fancy new retirement manor. It had gone well but it had been a pretty stressful and emotional day.

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Anyway, there she was, dressed elegantly in a pricey Chanel jacket, holding court by the elevator doors. She sat regally in a dark, leather, wing-back chair. Apparently waiting to converse with anyone who passed by. Although she was a tad deaf, I thought it was only courteous I should play along.

“No I didn’t hear” I replied while my wife strained not to roll her eyes.

“Eh? What’s that” the woman snapped.

My wife stepped closer to the woman and half shouted, “We haven’t heard about the guy who stole a calendar...”

“Oh, he got 12 months!”

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Too Tired...?

We feigned polite laughter.

Without missing a beat, she launched (oh no) into another one: “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?”

My wife and I glanced at each other and shrugged.

“Because, of course, it was two tired!”

Thankfully, at that moment, the doors opened and and we had an excuse to leave. So we waved goodbye and stepped quickly into the elevator.

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Author! Author!

As I was pushing buttons, my wife suddenly piped up, “You should write a joke book.”

Suddenly a copy of a well worn joke book was thrust into the opening of the elevator and we heard her enthusiastic voice exclaim:

“I have. You wanna buy a copy?”

With that the doors slid closed and we doubled over - half laughing, half crying. I could feel the stress from the day being lifted away.

Brushing away a tear, my wife sighed deeply and whispered, “I think your parents are going to like it here…”

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That cracked me up! xD hahaha
Those first two jokes were really lame!

Just leaving this here because I thought this was really funny too :
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
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"Roberto" - say it with an accent xD

I'm sorry that was probably really bad *cries

Thanks for your response.

I'm ashamed to say I just snorted out loud when I read your punchline. lol

Thanks again and keep smiling!

hehehehehe I snorted too the first time I heard it. xD
:))

Irony= talking about lame jokes, followed by one about a man with a rubber toe, LOL

What can I say, I find lame jokes really funny anyway! xD Lol!

Me too, my eight year old boy thinks he's a comedian, what do you call a nervous cow with the shakes? Beef jerky!

WELL DONE! You took jokes so old they've literally become cliche's and wove a wonderful story around them that made them at once renewed! Nice. Great imagery, nice formatting, I was only disappointed you didn't choose to share a funny song. So many good ones. ah well, Critique, the first line of your story, should be the first part of your headline. It's a great line, but I'd keep the rest about the retirement manor to back it up. Then, the images, this is such a cohesive, short story, finding images that all reflect a similar aesthetic would be a nice touch, check the resources I shared today. All in all, another solid effort, well done!

As always, great points - your post from today will help a lot with finding images that all reflect a similar aesthetic.

Thanks again for you are doing for the Doplhinschool crew! :)