thank you for reading @apolymask :) I agree - it can only do you good to be kinder to yourself. I am still my harshest critic - it's an on going evolution for me.. like right now I'm trying to tackle why I am so hard on myself and why I have this "I must be perfect or do this task perfectly" mind frame - but I started with small things first and got here you know in 3 years or something. I used to have anxiety attacks all the time, be totally enraged by every injustice in the world and totally wrapped up in emotion but slowly I have loosened the grip and slipped out a bit.

I still totally get wrapped up in rabbit holes of things going on in the outside world but I do it in segments now and I can more easily separate my own life from it. I think it has helped me to weed through the BS a bit more too because you can't see the forest through the trees. However, if we are on the subject of world issues.. it's a very frightening place where at right now and I hope people will wake up and start taking back their power so we can make the changes that need to happen because this world is a mess on so many levels.

I don't see my positive thinking as a way to dilute the REAL issues or to turn a blind eye or sugar coat things. That is not my intentions at all - in fact is a bit the opposite - because in a place of love for myself and then love for everyone I find I'm able to compose my truths in a way where more people will listen than if I try to jam pizzagate, population control and debt slavery down their throats with all the rage I feel over those types of atrocities because believe me it's there.

I feel like I'm reflecting the world, and the world is messed up..

this is such a powerfully true statement my friend! double sided though - is it you who reflects the world or the world that reflects you ? of course I have no better answer than anyone else but it is an interesting question to ponder to yourself

thank you as always for your amazing comments <3 I pulled out of IFC honestly because I saw the latest post (I think?) and you added a segment about inactive players in the top and I felt guilty because I know I have been MIA for the last SEVERAL rounds lol and my conscience was telling me others who have been trying hard and participating more may deserve the chance more than me