RE: 20 Minute Blog <strike>a Day</strike> when I can - finding my way
That was very inspiring, it's a shame you didn't enter it in the contest in my opinion I might have voted for it, why don't you want to compete in the championship for a chance to earn the grand prize if you don't mind me asking? I respect your choice, but I don't understand why you don't want a chance at the grand prize especially after reading this and seeing that you've been struggling.
Also I think it's amazing you made so much progress and are so much kinder to yourself. Some of that I really vibe with, but some of it.. I'm not sure I could replicate cause I'm still in a very self attacky mode often, or angry at the greater world for what's happening to others in terms of injustice and such.
I am trying to be more positive and I've been working on it, though I'm not sure I could reach the level you have cause I feel like I'm reflecting the world, and the world is messed up.. For me to not see that bad stuff, would only be part of the picture I think. BUT.. I do acknowledge that I'm way too harsh on myself and I do need to be a lot kinder to myself so I thank you very much for this post as it has inspired me to think about ways in which I can work on being kinder to myself as well. Thank you for sharing!
thank you for reading @apolymask :) I agree - it can only do you good to be kinder to yourself. I am still my harshest critic - it's an on going evolution for me.. like right now I'm trying to tackle why I am so hard on myself and why I have this "I must be perfect or do this task perfectly" mind frame - but I started with small things first and got here you know in 3 years or something. I used to have anxiety attacks all the time, be totally enraged by every injustice in the world and totally wrapped up in emotion but slowly I have loosened the grip and slipped out a bit.
I still totally get wrapped up in rabbit holes of things going on in the outside world but I do it in segments now and I can more easily separate my own life from it. I think it has helped me to weed through the BS a bit more too because you can't see the forest through the trees. However, if we are on the subject of world issues.. it's a very frightening place where at right now and I hope people will wake up and start taking back their power so we can make the changes that need to happen because this world is a mess on so many levels.
I don't see my positive thinking as a way to dilute the REAL issues or to turn a blind eye or sugar coat things. That is not my intentions at all - in fact is a bit the opposite - because in a place of love for myself and then love for everyone I find I'm able to compose my truths in a way where more people will listen than if I try to jam pizzagate, population control and debt slavery down their throats with all the rage I feel over those types of atrocities because believe me it's there.
this is such a powerfully true statement my friend! double sided though - is it you who reflects the world or the world that reflects you ? of course I have no better answer than anyone else but it is an interesting question to ponder to yourself
thank you as always for your amazing comments <3 I pulled out of IFC honestly because I saw the latest post (I think?) and you added a segment about inactive players in the top and I felt guilty because I know I have been MIA for the last SEVERAL rounds lol and my conscience was telling me others who have been trying hard and participating more may deserve the chance more than me