holocaust

Hello community, I haven't been writing much. My world has been turned upside down so much that I was invaded by a not knowing where to go since my family abandoned me, and not only that, we haven't spoken for 2 months. That left me with such a great feeling of being nobody that I can't recover. At the same time, I am without a job and I can't manage to find one, so I go from calmness to desperation, because before we endured everything as a family and now alone, with no one, only my little dogs that I have to feed and spend money that I no longer have. It's my new reality.
I have asked God so much and it seems that he no longer listens to my voice, except for those moments when I manage to maintain a little peace. I no longer know who to call, which door to knock on, and I manage to sleep at night and unfortunately wake up again without her, without my son. The mornings are desolate. I began to notice the periods when anguish comes to me and it happens every 20 minutes. Now I built a precarious little house at the back of the house to see if I can rent the front as a last desperate attempt to get money to survive.
I didn't know that you had to take such good care of your family. When you have them, you often say ugly things and show little interest, and those things start to affect the other person, and the gaze without nice things becomes easy to lose. I don't know what tomorrow will be. I'm sorry to bring you bad news. Maybe many have experienced more terrible moments than these when losing a loved one, but to have a loved one despise you and completely ignore you, I don't know what is more horrible.
I can't believe that so many tears come out of my eyes and when life will be in my favor. I didn't think I loved her so much, I didn't think it would hurt me so much. I look every day waiting for a hello from my beautiful wife and it's not there, and if in 60 days she didn't care about anything about me, the dogs, and nothing about the house, about the things she left behind, it's that she really forgot about me. I have already talked about it with many people who have experienced the same. It seems that the person is left with absolutely nothing to share with you, doesn't believe that you are part of their intimacy anymore, and wants you far away from their life.
I still congratulate her because if she left, here she was like an empty shell, and if she is happy now, good for her and for my son. I like that, knowing that they are well. Maybe someday or year we can talk when we both have new lives, because my house is her house and one day she can ask to sell it, and it's her right. If she asked me today, I would sell it immediately, because the damage I have done to her seems immense. I wish her the best in the world. I will somehow survive. I look like a holocaust survivor, I eat very little to save money.
It's good to be able to somehow share my story here and tell it so that at least someone listens to me and cares enough to read it, because we don't know how cruel life can be, and they say that sharing is reducing the problem. Greetings and happier stories will come.